LIFE.

It's really scary how loneliness can really screw someone up.

I've been defeated by loneliness. Was alone,still alone. I long for attention. I mean who doesn't long for attention. Every legit human being needs ATTENTION. To me,attention shows that at least my presence is acknowledged. I hate it when my presence isn't really acknowledged by anyone. I guess it's all due to the scar inflicted from the past. There're some things that you can never ever get over. Even though i'm lonely and long for attention,I've never thought i'll go to this extent. Sometimes,I don't even know who am I anymore. I've my own values and I know despite any circumstances,I'll still stick to my values no matter what. Because it makes up me,my values make me the Rachael that I am. But I lost all my values in just that moment of impulse. What have I done to the purity that i've held on for so long. Some said that it's curiosity,some said that it's loneliness. I think it's a mixture of both. I'm freaking 19,i need a life in certain other aspects man. But this is not the right way. I'm feel so sorry....towards myself. But i've to admit,i kinda like it but it's wrong. PLAIN WRONG. And guys....they're such sexual creatures. Don't they have some respect towards girls? ALL YOU FUCKING GUYS. IF YOU WANT SEXUAL PLEASURE,GO TO SOME MOTHER FUCKING BROTHEL AND NOT GO AROUND HOOKING UP ON INNOCENT GIRLS AND SCREWING THEIR PURE SELFS UP. then again,i'm being too naive again. i can actually be some fucking naive bitch and trust that you will actually wanna know me more and treat me like a fucking normal decent girl after that night. ya...im too fucking innocent. after everything that has happened,i can still be inclined to trust a guy. i'm gonna be fucking skeptical about what a guy fucking says now. and ya im fucking ugly and u still made out with me. so is there a fucking problem with you too. no wonder u didnt reply my text. ya im a fucking screwed up cheap ugly bitch. all you guys i fucking declare my mother fucking hatred towards you guys. never am i gonna be deceived by yall anymore. all guys are the same,motherfucking sexual creatures. i hope you guys get your fucking karma.